Some lines from my novel, ‘’The Pilot’’

‘’Half past nine in the morning. Get the medicine today. Something more… Madam Gohar, the boy needs much more love and positivity than medicine. He had been in the orphanage when he got ill and was taken to hospital. The boy’s current condition is connected with his emotionally stressful situation and depression. It’s none of my business but I dare to ask why he used to live in the orphanage,’’ Arsen said to Gohar quietly.

Gohar got shocked. She was unable to tell the doctor that she adopted the orphan boy as Azat was listening to their conversation. Gohar knew that the truth would make Azat’s poor health even poorer, so she invented a lie.

‘’O…oh…I was stupid. I was selfish. I thought of nothing but my business. I made my son suffer,’’ Gohar said and trembled.

Her words shivered on her lips. She was ashamed of herself for telling a lie. She had never been dishonest and never told even a white lie. Arsen was studying her charming face in silence while Gohar was rubbing her nose in a nervous way. She did not know how to hide her confusion.

‘’Didn’t you know that your only son had been in hospital? I used to get some phone calls from the orphanage, inquiring about the boy’s condition, but where…where had you been, Madam?’’ Arsen could not help himself not to blame Gohar.

‘’My mom came to see me when I was in hospital,’’ Azat screamed suddenly.

Both Gohar and Arsen turned to the boy in surprise.

‘’My mom opened the door slowly and came in. She was dressed in white. She sat beside my bed. She patted my head and kissed my cheeks. Do you want me to tell you what she said. I remember all her words now,’’ Azat tried to continue, but he paused.

Gohar thought the boy was cheating or he had just seen a dream while he had been in hospital.

‘’What did she say and did she cry?’’ Arsen said to the boy.

Gohar didn’t expect such a question from the doctor.

‘’My child might have seen a dream. I did not visit him. I did not know that he was ill,’’ Gohar whispered.

‘’I heard a woman weeping. When I rushed to see who was over there, I saw nobody. It was so strange. I told the nurses that I heard a woman, weeping in the Intensive Care Unit, but the nurses got astonished, and they said they had not heard or seen anybody there,’’ said Arsen, then paused for a moment.

‘’Yes, I remember my mom’s words,’’ he said, at last.

Azat cried and looked at Gohar. ‘’ Didn’t you say this, mom…?” he cried. “Here are the words that you said to me beside my hospital bed. O…mom…I remember. I can repeat. My darling little son! I am here not to allow you to come to my permanent home. You must grow up. I know how difficult it is for you without me. No, my boy…don’t give up! You should learn to live without me.’’

These were not Gohar’s words but Azat’s dead mother’s, which slid through her son’s small lips. Gohar did not find a word to reply. She first met the boy in her toy shop, after the boy had recovered and left the hospital.

‘’I cried and begged you to take me with you. I told you how much I missed you and dad. I said that I had missed your lullabies and fairy tales. I begged you not to leave me, but you waved to me. For a moment your hand looked so transparent. I heard you weeping, but I did not see your long loose white dress any more,’’ continued Azat, about to cry.

‘’Don’t cry my priceless son! You must be happy and healthy,’’ Gohar said and hugged Azat.

However she was still curious and wanted to know if the boy remembered something else besides the white dress and the transparent hand.

‘’Did you see my face, my little prince?’’ she asked.

‘’Yes, I did. You looked the same as you are now,’’ Azat said and laughed.

The laughter made his face look healthier. Gohar got confused for a moment. Then she thought it could be the boy’s imagination. Arsen was listening to them silently. He was as motionless as if he were not a human but a tall stone.

‘’I heard the same words and cries, coming from the Intensive Care Unit. My little patient’s words prove that it was as it had seemed to me. Wow… a woman had visited Azat…an invisible woman,’’ thought Arsen, without moving his lips or blinking his eyes.

He decided not to say a word to Gohar and Azat. He faced such a mystery that he could not explain.