Some lines from my novel, The Pilot
NARE’S JOB
Nare walked into the toy shop which was not far from the building where she used to live with her parents and younger brother. She moved to her uncle’s home after she had said goodbye to her family on their way to Heaven. Her family and home had become memories since then, and they were floating in her mind. She had often looked at the toys on the shop windows and remembered the toys that her parents bought for her little brother. Nare’s heart burst out crying, but she didn’t allow the tears to appear in her eyes. She was an orphan. Her home had gone. The small toy shop looked the same as it used to be many years ago. Only the toys were a bit different.
‘’Who lives in our apartment?’’ Nare said to herself. “I wonder if they know that I used to jump on the window sill to watch the street. My brother kept on pulling my leg to make me get off the window sill to play with him.’’
Nare whispered and tried to sketch the pictures of her past. Nare thought and thought being lost in her silent words. The building in which she was happy, the street where she walked and even the city she was born and grew up in made her cry with the tears that she struggled to hide.
‘’Ah, I will earn money if I am given a job in this toy shop. I will save the money for a plane ticket but…but…where to go, where? Hey, girl, the map seems to be turning into a maze,’’ Nare kept on speaking to herself.
Nare was diving into her thoughts and emotions, when a woman’s voice interrupted her. She was the owner of the toy shop.
‘’Good morning, Nare,” she said. “Wow, you have grown into a beautiful lady. I have known you since you were a girl. I recognized you at once. Don’t you remember me? At present I own this toy shop.’’
Nare hesitated for a moment then she smiled. The stylish, well-dressed, middle-aged woman was the very under weight and pale-skinned young shop-assistant who used to sell toys in that toy shop so many years ago. She had been at the same age as Nare was now.
‘’Good morning, Aunt Gohar,’’ Nare greeted her warmly.
She struggled not to cry as the memories of her sweet childhood started to chase through her mind and heart as if she were the happiest child, the very one she used to be in the past. She remembered her brother pointing out a toy elephant on the shop window with his index finger.
‘’My mom bought it without a bit of hesitation. It became my cute baby brother’s favourite toy. Isn’t that toy elephant with him in Heaven now?’’ Nare spoke to herself silently.
Her thoughts were interrupted by Gohar again.
‘’Although you are my employee now keep on calling me Aunt Gohar,” she said. “I contacted your parents as they lived in the same neighbourhood where I worked. I first met them when you were a baby. They often bought different small toys for you. The shop owner was a man. He knew your parents very well. I think you perhaps remember him as he ran this shop when you were a schoolgirl. Later he fell into debt and sold the shop to me. I had saved some money by working hard and bought it. Nare, your parents were very good people. Your brother was a lovely child. May their souls rest in peace!’’
‘’Amen, Amen!’’ Nare whispered and wiped the tears off her pale cheeks.
Nare was under weight because of lack of food and depression. Her uncle could hardly make ends meet, and he had more care for his family than for Nare. Gohar looked very relaxed, but Nare noticed a bit of nervousness in her facial expression. Nare’s memories led her back to both Gohar’s shabby clothes and her unforgettable kind smile when she was a young lady. Now Gohar’s clothes were new and elegant, but her smile hadn’t changed since the time of her poverty. Her smile was sweet but a little sad. A middle aged lady with a little boy entered the shop.
‘’Good morning dear ladies!’’ the lady said.
‘’Good morning!’’ Gohar and Nare replied.
‘’What can we do for you?’’ Gohar asked.
The lady was looking around when the boy rushed to the shop window and pointed out to the toy airplane.
‘’No, no Azat! Please, choose another toy. It is so expensive. I cannot afford to buy it,’’ she said.
The lady turned to the boy, looking at the price of the toy. The boy was about to cry.
‘’Madam, I am his nurse. I work in the orphanage where Azat lives. He is an orphan,” she said to Gohar.
Nare opened her shabby handbag and her fingers started to run inside the bag.
‘’His name is Azat which means free,” Nare said to herself. “What is he free from? Is he free from love and care? Is he free from lovely toys ? Is he free from fairy tales that most children hear from their parents’ lips. Ah, I have only a few coins in my bag.’’
Nare thought in sadness. Nare pushed away her miserable bag in the way as if she hated it with all her heart and raised her eyes to look at Gohar. She saw Gohar putting the plane into a box.
‘’Young man, I will give you this nice plane as a present if you tell me why you have chosen a toy plane instead of a toy car or something else,’’ Gohar said to the boy, trying to cheer him up.
‘’My mother and father are flying in the sky with their own wings. I don’t have wings,” said the little boy. “Maybe my wings have not grown yet. I will have wings when I grow older. I dream of becoming a pilot. All pilots have big and strong wings.’’
Azat’s sweet smile shone in his naive eyes. Gohar put the box into the boy’s arms.
‘’Thank you very much, auntie,’’ the little boy said to Gohar.
‘’That is very kind of you, Madam! Thank you very much,’’ said the nurse.
‘’My pleasure, do come again,’’ Gohar said and smiled to them.
Azat and his nurse left the toy shop with happy smiles. ‘’Nare, tell me about your life, please. I would love to help you. I see you have so many problems,” said Gohar to Nare. “Working in my toy shop you will not be short of money. My business is going well, but I suffer from loneliness. Every time I leave the shop for home I feel something strange as if I were talking to my shadow. Nare, do you have a boyfriend?’’
‘’Yes, I do, Aunt Gohar but I cannot find him in the internet,” said Nare. “It seems to me I have lost him in this gigantic world. He has disappeared. O, no, I do not think he has blocked me. After I had seen him off at the airport, I came back to my room at my uncle’s home and turned my laptop on to know if John had already arrived home, but I failed to find him. I have his home address. This comforts me.’’
Nare didn’t know that John had moved to another apartment. Nare took out a small piece of paper from her handbag as if it were the most valuable gem among all her poor possessions.
‘’Nare, you could have gone to the post offece and sent a letter or a postcard to him,’’ Gohar said.
She seemed so surprised.
‘’I have sent him so many letters and postcards but no reply,’’ Nare answered sadly.
‘’Nare, dear, maybe he has forgotten you. He no longer loves you and avoids contacting you. You are pretty, clever and young so you will have another chance… o….I don’t want to hurt you,’’ Gohar said.
Nare felt that Gohar regretted what she had told her.
Nare began patting her finger which was bound to a gold ring.
‘’Auntie Gohar, John gave me this ring. It’s a destiny ring. It will guide me to him,’’ Nare whispered.
The tiny diamond was shining on her finger like the drop of Nare’s tears on her cheek.
‘’Nare, are you crying? I hope my words didn’t hurt you. What a beautiful ring,’’ said Gohar, trying to comfort Nare. “Jump up higher than even your own self. I have done this,’’ she added, proudly.
Nare understood that Gohar was proud of herself. ‘’I will not jump up…oh…oh…I will fly up,’’ Nare said a bit cheerfully.
‘’Nare, you will be my helper here,” said Gohar. “Step by step you will learn more and more about the work and get used to selling toys. We will work together. When you are good at your job I will visit the shop only once a week. I live alone. My home seems boring to me…oh, oh…I will speak to my own shadow, but I think I should write stories about my life.’’
‘’Do you know how to write stories? Are you a writer? I used to write poems when I was a schoolgirl. My parents praised me and kept on saying that my poems were beautiful,’’ Nare said and smiled to Gohar.
‘’I wish I had a family,” said Gohar. “When I was a baby my mother gave me to the orphanage. I have never heard from my parents. I have never met them. If I were a mother I would take care of my children.’’
There was some sadness and nostalgia in Gohar’s words.
‘’Nare, you have sweet memories of your childhood. Your family members appear in your night dreams and talk to you. They watch you through the remote stars. You must be grateful to the memories which used to be real. That is a canvas that you see when you look back,’’ she said, to comfort Nare.
Nare suddenly heard a child’s voice, ‘’Nare, Nare come on quickly! Let us play hide and seek!’’
It was her little brother’s voice. Nare didn’t cry. The voice disappeared.
‘’Aunt Gohar is right. I have not lost my family. They have not lost the connection with me. When I get my first salary I will buy the best toy for my little brother and some gifts for my parents. I will put the gifts on the window sill and I will light a candle next to the gifts. O…o… I am sure my family will look at them through the sky’s mirror,’’ Nare whispered to herself silently.
