CHAPTER NINE
JOHN
John turned the key to the door and entered his empty home. There were a few bottles left on the table. Some of them were empty. He opened the full bottle and poured some beer into the glass. The bitter foamy drops of beer were leading him to his memories.
‘’What a sweet taste! No...no...not the beer...Nare’s lips...full of honey...wet...full of the nectar of the eastern juicy fruit,’‘ John whispered to himself. “I am still shocked. Nare kissed me in tears at the departure gate. She told me that she would be waiting for me. As soon as I arrived home I tried to message her, but I failed as she had blocked me. Why...why...she knew I loved her more than anyone or anything else. She came...yes...yes ...she came to tease me. Hmmmm...Mary! It was my Nare, who was teasing me. She said that her name was Mary. No, it was not funny. I first thought she was joking. No...no...it was not a joke. Nare played an odd trick on me, which was not funny but cruel. She...she...she escaped without saying a word to me. ‘’ John touched the glass of beer with his lips.
John was silent for a few minutes then he continued his monologue.
‘’O...o...o I understand,” he muttered. “Nare’s visa application was probably refused because she didn’t have a bank account or any property. She didn’t own an apartment or a house. Maybe the world’s injustice and cruelty made my Nare cruel. No, she can’t be...she...she ... my beautiful beloved is such a kind lady. Yes, the world’s injustice... how painful! Are human rights for everyone? Do the poor have any rights?’‘ John poured more beer into the glass but didn’t drink. John liked beer but he hated to be intoxicated. John was an organized person with good manners. Now he wished not to be sober, but his headache didn’t allow him to drink more. “Human rights? What about lost souls? Who saves their souls? A homeless person and a dog can be good friends. They have much in common in their lifestyle. Everyone has a life’s journey...from birth to death. There is a road...shorter or longer...wider or narrower...between birth and death,’‘ he said, lost in his thoughts.
‘’Greetings to you, Nare. I know you don’t want to hear me, but I have to say that I still love you. Nare, I would never bury our love. Who or what could have done it? Nare, you are a lost soul, aren’t you? Who or what stole you from me? O...o...the world’s injustice? Yes...yes...injustice...hell...destiny...what...what?’‘ John’s memories suddenly started to slide in his mind.
‘’How sweet Nare’s kisses are! I am stamping my heart beat on her bubbled lips. I am blowing my deep breath into her mouth. O...o...our wet tongues are meeting each other to dance. Nare’s breast smells the best perfume...her soft skin smells like acacias. O...o...I am burning in the fire of passion. Nare, I am thirsty and need the juice from your lips. The acacias from your skin still smell in my passion’s garden,’‘ he said to himself, as if he were talking to Nare. “I am burning in the fire of my passion, but I will not let our love become ashes. How to find you? You had refused me to give your uncle’s address not to annoy your uncle’s family, but why did you block me? I have dialled your phone number many times but in vain. Hmmmmmmmmmmm you do not want me to contact you.’‘
John didn’t know that Sona took Nare’s mobile phone to school without asking Nare for permission. Sona not only blocked John on Nare’s computer but she lost Nare’s phone as well. When she saw Nare weeping, she requested her father to buy a new phone for Nare. Nare’s cousin bought one, but the phone number was different. He apologized to Nare for her naughty daughter and told Nare to contact her beloved on Facebook. Nare explained that she was shocked that she failed to find John on Facebook. Her cousin told Nare that John had decided to escape. However Nare didn’t believe in her cousin’s words. She thought of something mystic, something mysterious, but she couldn’t figure out what it was. John took a deep breath to keep on talking to his memories.
‘’The lake...that beautiful lake in the foreign country...in Nare’s country! What a sweet memory,” he said to himself. “I tried to persuade Nare to swim in the lake but... in vain. I desired to press my lips upon all her body under the the calm waves of the blanket. I thought of her... a mermaid with magical charms, but she got scared and screamed.’‘
She told John that she had always been afraid of water. A few minutes later she smiled and said that she was a coward and even afraid of crossing a small puddle. They both gave big and warm hugs to each other and laughed loudly. John spoke to himself again.
‘’Could I meet her again?” John said. “Has the full page of my life ended to let the empty pages flow in my days? Nare arrived here. How did she manage to arrive? She...she...she did not have money...my beloved was a lost soul without home and money. How did she arrive here and why did she call herself Mary?’‘
John wondered and wondered, but he failed to get an answer. John’s headache got stronger. He understood that he needed fresh air. It was raining. The rain was beating his windows. He didn’t want to wait until the rain stopped. He put on his coat and hat and took his black umbrella. He was about to leave when his phone messenger rang.
‘’Hello John! It’s Mary. I have come again. I am outside your home now,” the message said.
John’s heart started to beat fast. He got so excited that forgot to take his umbrella. He ran out as quickly as a bird from an open cage.
‘’Wow...wow...my Nare! She is here again! This time I will never let her go,’‘ John whispered to himself.
A blonde young lady was standing in the rain without an umbrella opposite John’s building. There was dried mud on her clothes. John looked around. He looked and looked again.
‘’O......Nare seems to have hidden herself to play a trick on me again. Why does she call herself Mary? Where is she now?’‘ John whispered.
He looked around once more and approached the blonde lady.
‘’Excuse me, Miss. Have you seen a dark-haired lady nearby? You might have noticed her,’‘ he asked her.
‘’Hello John,” she said. “No, I haven’t seen the lady, whom you described. I sent a phone message to you. Hope you have come out to meet me.’‘
John got such a shock. He couldn’t believe neither in his eyes nor ears. It was like a bucket of cold water that was poured on his head. He studied the lady’s face carefully and thought that some coincidence had occurred.
‘’Sorry Miss. You may have taken me for someone else. Okay, but you know my name and phone number. It is so strange. I don’t think we have ever met,’‘ John whispered, trying to hide his shock.
‘’I am Mary. I first met you in the park. I was surprised that you called me in another name. I have forgotten what name it was, ‘’ she said.
Mary paused for a moment then she kept on speaking, ‘’I even stayed at your home for the night.’‘
John got shocked and shocked. He thought she was either intoxicated or mad. He looked at her again and again. John got angry because he was sure that she was telling a lie.
‘’Miss. I am sorry I don’t recognize you. We have never met,’‘ John said and he was about to go.
‘’Wait a minute, John. Don’t go! Have you forgotten me?’‘ she said.
‘’It’s the first time I have seen you. Have you fallen into a mud puddle? Your clothes smell of soil. O...o...you seem to have crept out of the grave,’‘ John exclaimed.
John couldn’t hide his disappointment. John tensed his memory. However he failed to remember her. He used to have girlfriends in his life. Those relationships had been in his youth long before he fell in love with Nare. Mary’s face was not familiar to him. He felt unhappy because of all those unexpected and unexplained mysteries which had happened to him.
‘’Grave! Yes, grave! I used to be there. I am a heavenly angel. I don’t know how I have arrived here again. I have missed you, John,’‘ she whispered.
Mary’s eyes were filled with tears. John got even more shocked and tried to figure out what was going on.
‘’Miss. I am John Parker. I think your John is another guy. Does he look like me? Where did you fall down? Did you hurt yourself? Your clothes are covered with mud. I think you should go home and change your clothes,’‘ John said to her.
‘’I...I...I don’t remember. It was a dark place then I left for the light one that was full of grace. I have only these clothes that I am wearing now,’‘ Mary replied.
John was still in a shock. He didn’t understand what she meant. His thoughts were still with Nare, but he felt sorry for the lady, whom he had not seen before. He took his wallet out of his pocket.
‘’Miss. Take this money and buy some inexpensive but new clothes. Your clothes are not only muddy but torn out as well,’‘ John said.
Mary refused to take the money, and John put it back into his wallet. The weather was bad. The clouds were curly and bubbled. Suddenly the thunder storm exploded the clouds and painted the sky dark grey. The crazy rain started making floods.
‘’Miss. Come quickly,” said John. “You can stay at my home until the thunderstorm stops.’‘
Mary agreed to go with John. She felt cold. She wanted to stay in a warm place.
John turned the key to unlock the front door. The smell of tobacco was coming through the corridor.
‘’Come in!’‘ John said to Mary.
Mary looked around. She remembered everything at once.
‘’I have been here before. Every corner is familiar with me. The old clock on the wall chimes sweetly. Each photograph on the wall has its own unique story. Nothing has changed,’‘ Mary talked to herself quietly.
John rushed to turn on the heating unit.
‘’Miss, sit close to the heating unit. So will I. The rain has washed our clothes. They need drying. Are you cold? The weather doesn’t seem to change for the better,’‘ John said to Mary and smiled.
Mary wished John to hug her as he used to do when he first met her. She wanted to feel his lips on her skin and his fingers all over her body, but John behaved gentlemanly and even a bit coldly.
‘’I will make tea. It was cold outside. Some boiled tea will do us good,’‘ John said and rushed to the kitchen.
Mary was left by herself. The room was getting warmer and warmer though the rain was even heavier and the air was even colder. The windows were firmly closed, and the walls of the room were stealing the warmth from the heating unit. Mary got up and began wandering in the room. She noticed the mirror in which she first didn’t recognize her face and got shocked. Mary hesitated for a moment but in the end she decided to walk to the mirror.
‘’O...o...o...it’s my own face. Now I absolutely recognize myself. What about John? O...o...John had kissed the lady in the photo...her portrait had glued to my face...no, it was not me... his beloved lady might have settled in me to appear before his beloved man’s eyes,’‘ Mary thought and she was about to cry. She looked at the photo in the frame that was hanging on the wall. She was still looking at the photo, when John entered the room.
‘’Our tea is ready. Sorry, I never keep any candies at home. I have lost the sweetness that I used to have,’‘ John said in a sad voice.
John put the cups of tea on the table.
‘’Do not worry John. I have flown here twice. You cannot see my feather wings because you are alive. This lady will fly to you with her own wings. Her wings will be made of metal. Her metallic wings will be large, ‘’ Mary said suddenly.
Mary was speaking and studying Nare’s picture, whose dark eyes looked melancholic behind the glass.
‘’John, don’t worry about candies. I don’t mind drinking tea without a candy. I am getting hungry. Could I have something to eat?’‘ Mary whispered quietly, trying to send John to the kitchen again.
‘’That’s a great idea. I also need something to eat. I will fry eggs. You like fried eggs, don’t you?’‘ John said cheerfully.
‘’Yes, I do. Thank you very much,’‘ Mary replied.
John left the sitting room for the kitchen at once. He opened the door of the fridge. John was so confused that he dropped the eggs and broke them. He had to wipe the floor. He did his best to hold the remaining eggs more carefully so he would not drop them. His hands were trembling while cooking. He was thinking of Mary’s words.
‘’She must be mad. Something must be wrong with her brain. If the weather had been good I would not have invited her to my place. I wish it would stop raining soon. I could not have left the lady to stay outside in the thunderstorm. What did she say...feather wings...metallic wings...? How to understand this nonsense?’‘ he thought.
He finished cooking at last. He put the fried eggs and some bread on the tray and rushed to the sitting room. The room was empty. The closed window was open now. The curtain was bathing in the rain. The rain was washing the window sill. John looked around with his searching eyes.
‘’Miss. Mary!’‘ he exclaimed.
The silence met John’s ears. There was nobody in the room. John started searching everywhere then he checked the front door. The door was locked, and the key was in the keyhole.
‘’How did she creep out of the window?’‘ he wondered out loud.
John looked out of the window anxiously. His apartment was on the fifth floor. John saw nothing but the rain and a few people under their umbrellas. There was no sign of any accident in the street. There was neither ambulance nor police cars opposite his window. John took a deep breath and felt a sense of relief.
‘’She crept out of my window safely and escaped,” he muttered to himself. “She could have killed herself by jumping down. How did she do it? How did she manage to escape through the open window? She was not a bird. It is still raining, even a bird would not dare to fly out in this bad weather.’‘
John was tired of searching for solutions to so many mysteries.
‘’Why did she risk her life to escape? I don’t think I have hurt her. I am a gentleman. I behaved gentlemanly. I treated her well. I had respect for her. Did I offend her? No, I did not do anything wrong. She looked like a homeless woman, poor and unhappy. Hmmm...her clothes! They were covered with dried mud. I felt so sorry for her. O...what made her creep out of my window?’‘ said John, quietly, as he kept on wondering if he had said something wrong to her by accident.
John had been lost in his thoughts so much that he still heard the rain though it had already stopped. Suddenly John noticed his mobile phone that was lying on the table.
‘’She sent me a message, so her phone number must be in my phone,” he thought. “I have to phone her now to know what made her escape while I was cooking in the kitchen. I will apologize if my words hurt her...but I treated her with respect.’‘
John did not waste a minute to phone her.
‘’Hi Mary!... O...I beg your pardon! Isn’t it Mary’s phone,’‘ said John.
John got confused hearing unfamiliar voice.
‘’Who is speaking? Sir. Mary passed away years ago. Didn’t you know that?’‘ John heard a female’s voice.
‘’This is her telephone. I am her grandmother. Ah...ah...her phone is with me but she is with God,’‘ the elderly woman said weeping.
John was shocked. He ended the call at once. He put the phone on the table and walked to the front wall. He stood before Nare’s photo that was looking at him from the wall.
‘’Hey, Nare! What is your life like? Mine is not good,” he said. “My solitude invites even a ghost to talk to me. Maybe loneliness is a ghost itself. What is life after life like? The ghost didn’t tell me. Wow, Nare, the ghost who visited me was a young lady. Her name was Mary. You arrived here to tease me. You told me you were not Nare but Mary. I am still thinking why you were so unkind to me. It was you, your dark and sad eyes, your small nose, your juicy mouth and your long thick dark hair. I patted your tender fingers. O...I have just remembered that you were not wearing your ring. I gave it to you to make you my bride. You may have thrown it away. No, I am sure, you might have sold it to buy bread. I forgive you. You sold the ring as you were in need. I am sure of it. Don’t worry, I will buy another ring for you, my darling. Come again!’‘
John paused for a moment, as if he expected the photograph to speak.
‘’Nare, my sweet darling I see you don’t believe that I have met a ghost,” he went on. “Nare, tell me the truth, if Mary had settled in you. She was a ghost. No, it was not a nightmare. I was awake. I wish it were a nightmare. The ghost got her angelic wings back, when she opened my window to fly away. Now I clearly remember her saying something that shocked me... the feather wings, which I could not see because I was alive. Nare, you escaped in the same way as she did. Nare, my darling...o...are you alive?’‘
John turned back and walked to the mirror.
He looked at himself into the mirror. His face was extremely pale. He noticed the fried eggs on the table getting cooler.
‘’I will have to eat all of it myself. There is nobody to share. I have nobody, who I can share with,’‘ he said.
John sat at the table but he could not bite even a small piece of it. He took the tray with the food back to the kitchen.
‘’It is impossible. I need more facts. I will phone again,” he said. “Yes, I will, but if the same elderly lady answers I will not tell her the truth. It might kill her. Hmmm...I have invented a story. ‘’
John dialled the same number.
‘’Hello,. sorry for bothering again. Could you please spare some time to talk with me?’‘ he said.
‘’Hello, mister, sure. I am listening to you,’‘ the elderly woman answered, being a bit puzzzled. ‘’I am John Parker,” said John. “I am a photographer. Years ago I took some photos of Mary. I gave her my phone number so that she could make an appointment with me to have her photos back. She phoned me and we met. I handed the photos to her, and she thanked me. We haven’t met since then, but her phone number still remains in my phone. I decided to publish an album of my early photos, so I phoned her to ask if she would not mind having her photos published. I didn’t know about her death. I would have loved to publish her photos if you don’t have any objection.’‘
John felt unhappy and ashamed for telling a lie. He knew he had never photographed her.
‘’Mr. Parker, that will be fine,” said the old woman. “Thank you very much. My pretty granddaughter is no longer with me, but all her photos, clothes, books and exercise-books and even her phone are with me in the hospice. I miss her very much. I look at her possessions and cry on them. This nostalgia is a fire which burns my old bones. Sir, let my pretty girl’s photos be published with your other photos. Mary would have been happy, if she had been alive.’‘
John heard her weeping.
‘’Could I visit you now?’‘ John said to her.
‘’Yes, you can. Please, write down the address of my hospice,’‘ she replied.
John thanked her and took the pen out of his pocket. He suddenly understood that he would not be able to drive. He could not figure out what was happening. He found it difficult to believe that he had been talking to the ghost. He wanted to see her photos to be sure if it was the same lady who had visited him. John left home immediately and took a taxi.
‘’Hello,’‘ he said to the taxi driver and handed the piece of paper with the hospice address to him.
The driver was a man with a smiling face. He looked cheerful and alert. He looked at John with a puzzled expression on his face.
‘’What’s wrong, sir? You look like as if you have just seen a ghost,’‘ the taxi driver said to John.
‘’Yes, I have,’‘ John replied, seriously, but the driver thought he was joking. When the taxi stopped at the gates of the hospice, John got out, paid the driver and thanked him. John knocked on the door of the elderly lady’s room.
‘’May I come in?’‘ John said, politely.
‘’Yes, come in. I have been waiting for you, sir,’‘ the elderly lady said. It was the same voice, which he had heard on the phone. John entered the room. The elderly lady was sitting in her wheelchair. Her legs were covered with a blanket. An open album was lying on her knees. John understood that she was disabled.
‘’Look, how pretty and sweet my girl was,” she said to him. “What a terrible injustice! It is unjust I am alive but she is not.’‘
John had a close look at the photos, which had never been taken by him. John was speechless for some time because he had recognized her face. John did not have any doubt that it was the same lady and not anyone else, whom he had met. He even got frightened, but he didn’t want to show his fright to Mary’s grandmother. He was pleased with himself for inventing this fake story not to make her suffer. John was sure if he confessed to the disabled lady that Mary was in his sitting room just hours ago, she would die. The truth would kill her.
‘’Mary is in a better place than we are,’‘ John said to comfort Mary’s grandmother.
‘’It was my turn to leave...not hers,’‘ she said to John showing more photos of her granddaughter.
‘’Nobody can decide instead of God. I will take photos from her album. I don’t need to borrow her photos from you,’‘ John whispered.
John took out his digital camera out from his pocket. After having taken a few photos of the beautiful young lady, whose eyes were full of hope and expectations, he turned to the elderly lady and spoke in a sad voice, ‘’Sorry, I have to go now. I am in a hurry. Take care!’‘
John walked out of the hospice, talking silently to himself.
‘’Why did Mary choose me?” John said. “She had never met me in her earthly life. She could have chosen someone else. Why me? Why me? Why me? Why did Mary’s ghost visit me?’‘
John kept giving these questions to himself many times. He was so depressed that he did not want to go straight home.
‘’I will take a taxi to Manhattan to take more sea photos for my new album that I expect to publish in the near future, ‘’ he said.
He took his digital camera out of his pocket to have a look at the pictures that he had saved. His eyes found Mary’s photos that he had just taken. John looked at the young lady’s face through his camera for a moment.
‘’I promised Mary’s grandmother to publish her dead granddaughter’s photos in my album. I will,” he said to himself, quietly. “Written pages, paintings, videos and photographs save earthly life’s episodes. People stay alive in them forever. O...o...I see this smiling face and think she is still here though she is in Heaven.’‘
John got lost in his thoughts looking at the screen of his camera. His eyes captured a few of photos of his youth.
‘’How quickly all these years have flown,” he murmured. “It seems to me it was just yesterday. Hey, Jim! You took this photo of me outside our college. You are in Heaven now. Boy, I took your photo too. Let me search! O... here you are.’‘
John smiled at the photo of his classmate that was taken so many years ago, when they were students. John began to remember his college years. He thought how fast they had flown. He was tired of being single. The lady whom he loved was away.
‘’I wonder if I will get old in my solitude,” he wondered out loud. “Time runs quickly. Time stops only in photographs.’‘
John seemed to be talking to his destiny for some time. When the taxi arrived, John got into the car. Some time later the taxi stopped and John got out of it. The Statue of Liberty caught his eyes immediately. John heard from his parents that their ancestors came to New York from England at the beginning of the twentieth century.
‘’Hey, Immortal Queen!’‘ John greeted the Statue of Liberty. ‘’You opened your door to my great grand parents. You are very kind and hospitable. I believe you will let Nare come and stay with me on your beautiful coast. My Nare is a good girl. She is an orphan. She has only me in her life. Hmmm, even if we fail to be together in the world, we will rejoin in Heaven. We are engaged.’‘
John took a deep breath and paused. He understood that the Statue of Liberty agreed, but he did not hear the statue’s voice as the noises of seagulls were loud, and the ocean waves were talking to the flocks with even louder voices.
